Sexual Communication, Consent and Respect 

Communication

Talking openly with your partners supports your sexual health as well as theirs. For example, if you have a sexually transmitted infection (STI), it is important to tell your partner before starting any sexual activity. Knowing what sexuality means to you can help you feel more confident when communicating with your partners. 

Ask yourself these questions keeping in mind that there are no “right” or “wrong” answers. 

• What is important to me? 
• What feels good to me?  
• What brings me pleasure?  
• What do l need to feel comfortable communicating these desires or other parts of myself to partners?
• What would I want to know about a sexual partner or ask from them?
  

Consent

Consent is an agreement between people to engage in sexual activity. It is an essential part of communication.   Before having sex, all people involved must give their consent. Consent is stated clearly and is given freely. Verbal consent helps people understand and respect each other's boundaries. 

For sex to be consensual, each partner must agree to it every single time. Every person gets the final say over what happens with their body. No one should feel pressured into doing anything they don’t want to do. 

Consent is not given when a person:

• Is clearly upset, unresponsive or withdrawn
• Is under the influence of drugs or alcohol. (For example, they are slurring their speech or having a hard time keeping their balance.)
• Has more power than the other. (Power refers to contrasts in age, position in the same workplace, etc. Examples include, but are not limited to, a student and teacher or boss and employee.) 

Sexual assault – rights and information

Sexual assault refers to sexual contact or activity that occurs without the recipient’s clear, direct consent. Sexual assault survivors have a right to:

• Protective services, whether this is for urgent or ongoing safety concerns.
• Potential financial help for costs caused by the assault.
• Confidential counseling support and referrals to local resources.
• Report the assault to the authorities (which does not affect any of these rights).

Mental health support services, no-cost helplines and community resources are also available. Learn more.

Talking with children, teens and young adults (tips for parents/guardians)

Research shows that talking with children, teens and young adults about safe sexual practices and consent lowers the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STI) and teen pregnancy. 

Use these tips when talking to children, teens and young adults about consent and safe sex:  

• When starting the conversation with a child, teen or young adult about sex, do it a little bit at a time. There is no need to cover every topic in one talk. 
• Make it clear that the child, teen or young adult can ask you questions or come to you for support without fear of judgement. 
• Keep the talk age-appropriate by giving fewer details, especially when talking to younger children.
• Use everyday life moments as teachable moments. For example, when watching a TV show, you can ask “If a person you were dating acted like this character, what would you do?” 
• Keep the conversation open with the child, teen or young adult even after answering their first questions.
  • Ask questions like “What other questions about stuff like this do you have?”
  • Check if they understood by asking “What do you think about that?” or “Does that answer your question?” Their answers can tell you a lot about what they already know.

More resources to help keep the conversation open